Meet the Bears

We have to be careful not to anthropomorphize bears because they are wild creatures after all. The bears, however, have been nicknamed by biologists based on distinguishing features or behaviors. Nicknames make them easier to track and observe their behavior over the years. Each bear has a personality, or shall we say URSAnality of their own. Although we do not know all of the nicknames of all the bears like Larry would, here are the few that we can remember and observations we had.

This is Ted-Like. Ted-Like caught our eye because he was a large, very old bear. Why did he look old? He moved like he had bad arthritis and could really use some iBEARprofen. Ted-Like didn’t fish as actively as the other bears, and when he moved it was very slow and deliberate. He is famous for taking a rest near our bear viewing platform. Obviously he is the very best good old bear. What a stud!

Meet Chops, the Godfather of all the bears. Chops has claim to Boardwalk AND Park Place of McNeil River, or shall we say the best damn fishing hole on this side of the Mississippi. He is more territorial about his spot than Sheldon Cooper, eats like a hungry jammer, and is a gorgeous specimen of bruin majesty.

This is Tina Fey, and yes he is a male bear. Tina Fey was nicknamed by biologists after being sassy. Although we are unsure of the details of said sassy encounter, we witnessed Tina trying to catch a bite to eat while parked on Boardwalk. Chops got mad and Tina was exiled up river, where he stayed patiently exiled in bear jail. Trucker painted Tina Fey and left him him the cook cabin.

I’m pretty sure that this young, chocolate colored, delicious looking bear was nicknamed Magic Mike. The reason is OBVIOUS because this bear was handsome as heck with not a piece of fur out of place or gnarly scar. There were giggles from the biologists that this was NOT actually the bear’s nickname. It may be up for debate, but I think it is quite fitting.

This bear is one of Simba’s cubs. Simba got her name because of a distinguishing nose scar. We called this little one Motley Crue bear because of his rocker mohawk. Motley Crue bear sat on the beach, walked right by our group, and played with a stick like a dog would. We expect many great things to come from this guy and his squishy toe beans. He definitely has a rockstar attitude.

Hot Tub Time Machine Bear (our nickname) looked like he was relaxing at the spa. Every once and awhile he would pounce and make a giant splash. He also shook off quite profoundly and watered a whole family of seagulls. Taylor Swift would be proud. Shake it off, shake it off!

I don’t know this bear’s real name, but I call him Dean Winchester. Saving seagulls, hunting kings! The family business. Ok, so it’s a chum salmon, not a king salmon. I tried. He’s rugged, handsome, and takes down his prey like a boss.

Bearded Lady is one heck of a gal. She’s the epitome of a mama bear, has amazing fishing skills, and is downright classy. She’s the Audrey Hepburn of bears. My Dungeons and Dragons character is a high level Druid named Ursala who turns into a bear for extra damage points against enemies. Ursala never loses. This is that bear.

Simba was busy fishing taking care of her two cubs. One of them was whining because he wanted to nurse, but she caught them a fish instead. She has her hands, err claws, full with her rockstar bruin spawn.

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